though i am a voracious reader, i generally avoid anything that could be labeled “classics” or “literature” like plagues.  i blame high school, as i’m sure many similar-minded people do, for ramming such things down our throats when we were too young and devoid of life experience to get much out of them.  reading these books was a chore, not a joy, and was therefore avoided from then on.

sometimes, though, you pick up something that’s “good for you” that actually is good.  exhibit 1:  Marjane Satrapi’s ‘Persepolis‘, the autobiographical story of her childhood and young adulthood in iran told as a graphic novel.  available as either 2 volumes or in one larger book, the whole thing can be consumed in one long afternoon or two.  the illustrations are simple, thick, filled-in b&w drawings that tell the story in a matter-of-fact utilitarian way; the text is casual conversation.  this quiet, personal story had a lot to say that i’ll go ahead and admit was completely novel to me: for all our roll-over bumper stickers, iran & iraq are not interchangeable similarities; a cultural 180 from modern to veiled happened nearly overnight in our modern era; and another window into the concept that “muslim” is not a monolithic homogeneity.

exhibit 2:  i’m about 2/3 through Barbara Kingsolver’s ‘Poisonwood Bible‘, which i’d always dismissed (since it’s an oprah book, after all) as something girly and/or middlebrow.  wow, was i wrong on that front.  the 1001 books reading group has caused me to pick up several of the types of books i’d otherwise avoid, some surprisingly good, but this one is amazing.  the intimate meltdown of a white baptist missionary family parallels the political meltdown of the congo revolution, while the beauty and the hell of impoverished africa is told through the varingly naive points of view of the missionary daughters.  there’s nothing fluffy or middlebrow in here, and this otherwise-to-be-avoided high literature is keeping me reading up late at night.

Chris is a hunter-gatherer of meat products at the grocery store.  when that man finds some hunk of flesh on deep discount, it’s going in the freezer, regardless of what’s already crammed in there.  last week, he found a **huge** pork loin (and by huge, i mean it’s easily as big as most beef loins) on crazy sale, so that’s been cut into 5 or so portions and frozen for future parceling out, too.  i’m quite confident that we shall be revisiting other pork chunks on future tuesdays.

i’m a big fan of cooking things that aren’t too terribly difficult, yet look and taste like you spent some time on them.  hoity-toity with minimal effort, if at all possible.  this week’s wild-rice stuffed roast pork falls nicely into that category, i think.

1.  prepare the rice stuffing

use a good quality wild rice blend, with plenty of the long, dark grains that give a rich, nutty flavor.  toss a few handfuls into the rice cooker (or cook by package directions), one serving per person or portion of finished roast.  while that’s bubbling along, mince some mushroom, onion, and dried fruit (i used craisins, but dried cherries or golden raisins would be fine for this).  melt a generous pat of butter in a saucepan on medium heat, add a few tbsp diced garlic and some french provençal herbs, and sauté everything just until done.  when the rice is done cooking, evenly mix the other ingredients into it.

2.  carve the roast

this will work best with a piece of roast shorter than your knife’s blade (so you can make it all happen in one slice).  picture the spiral-thru-the-long-axis pattern of a jelly roll:

slice the roast along the dark line in that picture (though with probably less turns; i only spiraled about 1.5 times), so that you end up with the whole thing carved to a sheet of about 1-1¼ inches thick.  by opening the roast in this way and slightly overlapping the 2 edges, you’ll create a much larger cavity to fill with the rice stuffing than if it was simply cut in half part way through like a book.

3.  assemble & cook

place your flat sheet of roast cut-side-down onto a large piece of aluminum foil.  sprinkle the outside of the roast with garlic powder and more french herbs, then flip so that the inside is facing up.  pile on the rice mix, then fold the roast closed so that the edges just overlap.  the object you end up with should look like a pork cylinder full of rice.  wrap snugly in the aluminum foil, pop into a baking dish, and then into a preheated 325° oven for 45+ minutes (longer if your roast is big).  when it’s mostly done, gently slice through the foil on top and push back to the sides of the baking dish.  back into the oven for 10 minutes or so to lightly brown the top, and you’re done.  cut into crosswise slices, the same as for that jelly roll.  yum!

4.  variations

the choices for stuffing are pretty endless.  you could replace the wild rice with a bread-style stuffing (or even stovetop, knock yourselves out), veggies alone (a mix of several types of mushroom would be great), or tweak the spices used.

apostrophes, people.  sometimes you need them, but most certainly, sometimes you don’t.  in general, you need ‘em for 2 categories:

1. possessives
2. contractions

you’ll notice that plurals are just not on that list.  in a storage hallway here in my office building, we have a collection of boxes labeled things like “mask’s” or “respirator’s,” which some other grammar nazi¹ has red-pen’d (thanks!!).  i’m editing a professional document today in which nonhuman primates is abbreviated in every instance as “NHP’s.”

i blame the 80s, or more specifically, CDs that had titles like “80’s greatest hits!”  see, if you say something less direct, like “greatest hits of the 80’s,” then everyone gets the idea that pluralized things in general (and pluralized abbreviations most certainly) deserve an apostrophe before the s.  the trick with that particular example is that it’s still possessive, like “the blue sweater of John’s,” so it still merits its apostrophe, as does “80’s music,” but not “the latter half of the 80s.”

it’s ok, just let it go.  save yourself the time it takes for that extraneous pen stroke.  thanks!

————————————————————————————————

¹i am 100% aware that claiming to be a grammar nazi opens me up for heavy critiquing.  knock yourselves out.

i was out having sushi tonight with some friends & acquaintances, when the subject of cheese came up.  i had a pretty even split of horrified and intrigued when i was discussing the in-fridge mold-aging method that naturally happens in my cheese drawer, but there are certainly stranger things to eat.  it’s an old meme, but here goes:  the VGT one hundred crazy omnivore things to sample, with added snark & chatter, of course:

1) Copy this list into your blog or journal, including these instructions.
2) Bold all the items you’ve eaten.
3) Cross out any items that you would never consider eating.
4) Optional extra: Post a comment here at www.verygoodtaste.co.uk linking to your results.

The VGT Omnivore’s Hundred:

1. Venison (axis is far superior to regular white tail deer)
2. Nettle tea
3. Huevos rancheros (i’d really rather not – just hate eggs in general)
4. Steak tartare
5. Crocodile (wait, does alligator count?  that’s pretty much the only crocodillian we get stateside)
6. Black pudding
7. Cheese fondue
8. Carp
9. Borscht
10. Baba ghanoush (an odd thing, really.  i’ve had AWFUL stuff that the wait staff tried to convince us was “smoked”, and really delightful versions.  guess it’s just the trickiness inherent in eggplant)
11. Calamari
12. Pho
13. PB&J sandwich
14. Aloo gobi
15. Hot dog from a street cart (there is a circle of hell made entirely out of the vile stuff that is hot dogs)
16. Epoisses (not this one in particular, but i am a big ol fan of raw cheese and stinky cheese, so why not)
17. Black truffle (in and out of cheese even!)
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes (brought back some AMAZING stuff from bartlett winery in maine last month)
19. Steamed pork buns
20. Pistachio ice cream
21. Heirloom tomatoes (would eat only if cooked into something else – i despise tomatoes)
22. Fresh wild berries (we used to pick dewberries off the undeveloped property at the end of our street every summer when i lived in houston)
23. Foie gras (mmmm, iron bridge’s foie gras fridays!)
24. Rice and beans
25. Brawn, or head cheese (this is the sort of mad max not-unless-post-apocalypse-upon-us, survival-necessary thing i’d rather not contemplate)
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper
27. Dulce de leche (as dessert, as ice cream, as candy…)
28. Oysters (from many locales, yum!!!)
29. Baklava
30. Bagna cauda
31. Wasabi peas
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl (don’t think i’ve had the soup in a bread bowl, though i have had each of these individually)
33. Salted lassi (but i highly prefer mango or rose lassi)
34. Sauerkraut
35. Root beer float
36. Cognac with a fat cigar (i’ve been around fat cigars with my cognac, but i’m just not a smoker)
37. Clotted cream tea
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O (ah, memories of 20)
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat (and most every other form of caprine deliciousness)
42. Whole insects (see 25 above, re: apocalyptic necessity only)
43. Phaal (i’m not into pain like that)
44. Goat’s milk (and goat cheese and goat butter and goat yogurt)
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more (prolly not, though i have been served some marvelous things at friends’ houses)
46. Fugu  (Chris has an endless fascination with this, but i doubt you can find much of it domestically)
47. Chicken tikka masala
48. Eel (only on sushi, not as a whole-animal dish)
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut (i will never understand the fascination with KKs.  so many other, better choices available)
50. Sea urchin
51. Prickly pear (best margaritas ever, with the most delightful fuscia color)
52. Umeboshi
53. Abalone
54. Paneer
55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal (haven’t eaten mcpoo in 15ish years, and don’t plan to again, unless that apocalypse rolls around, at which point i doubt the continued existence of the establishment)
56. Spaetzle
57. Dirty gin martini (both gin and olives are repugnant)
58. Beer above 8% ABV (the delicious DTs)
59. Poutine
60. Carob chips
61. S’mores
62. Sweetbreads (the only exception to my strict organ meat prohibition is small quantities of foie gras.  unless that apocalypse thingy actually happens.)
63. Kaolin (not on purpose, ok if in meds as needed)
64. Currywurst
65. Durian (this is all you need to know.  hellllll no)
66. Frogs’ legs (some in my freezer right now)
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake
68. Haggis (“i think all scottish cuisine is based on a dare“)
69. Fried plantain
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette (same as 62)
71. Gazpacho
72. Caviar and blini
73. Louche absinthe (oh, but i WOULD)
74. Gjetost, or brunost
75. Roadkill (seriously, about this impending apocalypse, and what i’d have to do to avoid starvation)
76. Baijiu
77. Hostess Fruit Pie
78. Snail
79. Lapsang souchong (never again, though.  i’m a tea lover and this was vile)
80. Bellini
81. Tom yum (well, tom kha anyway, and it’s basically the same, just different ratio to the ingredients)
82. Eggs Benedict
83. Pocky
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant.  (oh, i wish)
85. Kobe beef
86. Hare (rabbit is surprisingly easy to find frozen in the meat section of the asian market)
87. Goulash
88. Flowers
89. Horse
90. Criollo chocolate
91. Spam (particle meat, ugh)
92. Soft shell crab
93. Rose harissa
94. Catfish
95. Mole poblano
96. Bagel and lox
97. Lobster Thermidor
98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
100. Snake

i’m at 58/100…got a few to work on, but pretty good, i think!

a big part of my current e-reader debate is the ability to borrow books from the library.  i really really need to cull out the books i’m never going to re-read + the ton of new books always vying for my attention = i’ve been checking out a lot more books from the library than i buy anywhere.  one of the sad things about the kindle is that it’s locked up tight with its own proprietary book format, so you can’t borrow e-books from the library.

as a good little tech researcher, i need to see if that’s even an issue before i chalk it up as a black mark.  and oh, dear, it’s quite possibly a very black mark indeed.

i’m already in love with the county library system, and my tax dollars are working well in there.  i have to think of it as “county” rather than merely the local branch:  when you search the catalog, it doesn’t matter what building the book is housed in now, they’ll send it off to your preferred pick-up branch for free within a day or 3.  i’m very spoiled.  the maryland e-book system doesn’t disappoint.  in my hour or so of surfing along (wading through all the mountains of audiobooks i’m not interested in), i’ve come across classics, chicklit, scifi, new stuff that’s awesome but too damn heavy to physically cart around (‘Anathem’), Neil Gaiman’s newest, several things on my TBR list, and a bit of local baltimore color as a crime novel.  there’s already 42 items on my “wishlist”, and i’m not done.

new toys better show up soon…

i had 2 moments of utter confusion at work today.  like most of us, i operate under the assumption that at some point in our education we’ve all got the same memo outlining what qualifies as “famous”.  clearly, my version of the memo must be on white-bread-centric, good-quality-public-education letterhead.  as i was reminded today, there are definitely other versions of the memo in circulation.

a while back, i got a free copy of a novel about genghis khan’s boyhood.  i finished it up this past week, and since a)i don’t have any plans to re-read this one and b)my library needs to be culled savagely anyway, i decided to set it free in the world.  i took it in to a (brilliant & educated) friend at work to give to her kiddos – she says one of her sons particularly enjoys ancient rome and history and whatnot, so i figured he’d like this too.  after giving her the quick synopsis, she said she didn’t know who genghis khan was.  i thought that one was pretty standard, but eh, maybe it’s due to all my own childhood ancient history delving.

later this morning, one of my techs stopped by my office for some paperwork, and then asked about the calendar i have up.  it’s a freebie from jax, mostly spoofs of famous paintings that have mice added into them somehow.  “what’s up with the crazy chick?” he asked me, about the fearful stare of a farmer’s wife at the pair of mice now perched on her dour husband’s shoulder.  “that picture is in no way familiar to you?” i asked him, befuddled again by what i’d taken for granted as common knowledge.  i took the calendar down and flipped through it with him as he further didn’t recognize magritte’s bowler hats & clouds, munch’s scream, or coolidge’s poker-playing dogs.  he wasn’t particularly impressed with any of the originals we looked up together on the internet (‘american gothic’ being boring, and ‘the scream’ being scribbly), but well, they’re, you know, famous.

or so i’d assumed.

sometimes, of course, dogs can be “bad” (concept in air-quotes because animals don’t make moral judgements).  these dogs are pretty darn good, but even if they were evil, it’d be pretty simple for them to avoid much punishment.  see, they’re genetically evolved to be too cute for harsh words:

yes, the cuddle together all the time.  and no, i don’t have to pose them, it’s just genetic awesomeness.

over on goodreads (effectively, facebook for book nerds) i chip in with several different reading groups – it’s nice to have the same around-the-watercooler discussion about books as last week’s football game/etc.  there’s a poll as to what we feel like reading communally the next month attached to some groups; others have a simple rotating “it’s your turn to pick next” scheme.  either way, i’m catching some stuff i might not have otherwise chosen, and that includes stuff that the county library system didn’t choose either.  one of the group picks this month was somewhat hard to find in print, but was readily available as  a free pdf file online, so i’ve been cuddled up with baby computer in my fave reading chair this evening, dipping into the world of e-books.

which, in a research frenzy reminiscent of last year’s cell phone craziness, i’ve been oddly giddy about for a while now.  i mean, i LOVE my books and my huge book collection, why would i be into the idea of an e-reader?  an otherwise useless gadget, like a handicapped computer, good for only one thing?  yet, there it is, i’m ready to be downloading books at the push of a button and sneaking them into work every day.

a friend has an amazon kindle and swears it’s the greatest thing since the proverbial sliced bread.  all reviews of other devices compare them to the kindle (in the same way that all other music players are compared to the ipod) – clearly, this is the definitive object of its type out there right now.  the part that’s most intriguing is book +  wikipedia capability.  yes, i know the web browser on this thing is pretty crude, but i end up routinely searching for subjects related to my novels after i’m finished, and the idea of being able to flick through reference materials mid-story while lounging on the couch is just delicious.  i’ve been kicking around the idea of the larger DX version most prominently on this shopping quest, because i’m convinced that bigger = better.

to muddy the waters, b&n announced their book reader last week.  the flashy color touch screen at the bottom is pretty (not sure i care about that, though), and the nook can handle a wider variety of formats.  not being locked into the one proprietary sort is nice, plus that opens up the possibility of e-books from the library (check your local library’s website, mine has plenty).  still, i HATE b&n, and there’s no web capabilities on this one, so no wiki-surfing midstream.

the dark horse that may or may not be awesome (awesomeness is up in the air due to the thing not even being formally introduced until early next year) is from the previously unheard-of plastic logic.  theirs is being touted as a “business device” though, so even though its bells & whistles look really cutting edge, it’ll likely be way pricey.

sony has a new one too, as does irex.  dunno who spring design or entourage are, but theirs both look promising, too.

i swear, holiday shopping for other people is way simpler than shopping for me sometimes.

one of the most versatile and screw-up proof side dishes ever is the little pelleted bits of wheat sold as cous cous.  as the wiki page tells us, the stuff readily available in the western grocery store is basically instant – just boil some water, add a bit of the dry wheat bits, cover and remove from heat, ready to fork-fluff and eat in 5 minutes.  the pretty tri-color variety i get at the store comes in a canister large enough to contain several meals’ worth, is pretty cheap, and works just as easily as the package claims.  with just a little butter and salt in the boiling water (as described on the package), cous cous is a nice change of pace from standard rice or pasta or potato side dishes.

the great thing about it, though, is that it’s very much a blank slate.  add anything you feel like and flavor the heck out of that stuff from sweet to savory; it’s very forgiving of experimentation.

garlic veggie cous cous:

in a medium-sized sauce pan, heat a pat of butter until melted and sizzling.  add a generous spoonful of diced garlic, some chopped onion, and whatever vegetables you have on hand (bell peppers + shredded carrots +  pine nuts is a fave combo of mine).  cook until the veggies are done but not mushy – ideally, there is a little bit of char in the pan.  remove the veggies and set aside in a bowl.  put the same pan back on the stove without cleaning it.  add water, butter, and salt as per the package instructions to make the desired number of servings.  when the water has come to a boil, turn off the stove, add the dry cous cous and stir.  stir in the veggies as well, then cover for 5 minutes.  done!

if you want something a little sweeter, add gold raisins or craisins.

if you want something more savory, add stock or fat from some meat you’ve cooked.

cous cous is light and fluffy, so don’t add anything too heavy (i.e., chunks of meat served ON it are good, but mixed IN it during cooking, not so much).  any available veggies, and even plenty of fruits, do wonderfully in this, so boldly experiment with what you have on hand.

by now, everyone’s pretty much given up on the h1n1 freak-out (though i did see a couple of clever swine flu costumes saturday).  don’t forget, though, it’s about that time for your regular seasonal flu shot.

the occ health physican’s crew was in the office today giving us our flu vaccines.  you had to sign up before hand if you wanted one, and let them know whether  you wanted shot or mist.  in case anyone’s unclear on the concept, let me explain flu vaxx:

regular ol’ flu shot is a KILLED vaccine made of virus particles that were previously grown in chicken or duck eggs.  because the viruses are all killed, it’s not possible to actually get the flu from the vaccine.  because this stuff is supposed to trigger your immune system, it’s completely normal to feel tired and possibly even achy for 24h or so.  if you’ve ever felt more than transiently ill, or were sick-ish for a good while after your shot, you were having an inflammatory reaction to the egg that the vaccine was grown in or some other remnant from the manufacturing process: this particular phenomenon is what causes some people to say that they “got the flu from the shot.”

flumist, though, is a LIVE vaccine made of viruses that have been altered so as to not cause serious illness.  you inhale a small amount of this liquid into each nostril, thereby infecting your upper respiratory tract with this mild version of the virus.  the theory is that this induces a type of immunity that is far more protective than the shot, since the antibodies you make will be right there in your mucous membranes blocking flu entry, instead of floating in your blood stream.  obviously, though, because it’s a live virus (attenuated or not), there are more restrictions on who should recieve it.  you can’t give it to people with weak immune systems, for example.

i can’t personally deal with the regular flu shot – i had a bad reaction to one a decade or so ago, and have avoided it ever since.  the mist, tho, i’ve had no problems with for the past sevaral years.  i was sick about 2 weeks ago, and had juuuuust gotten over it completely in the past couple of days.

so it’s of course just my luck/no wonder at all that tonight, i’ve sprung some post-nasal drip.  (eta: and the following day, too!  fun!)

alrighty, little transient infection.  your work here is complete, time to move on and out.

sigh.