step 1.0 is covered, email went out late friday: birthday bbq here saturday the 18th (if you didn’t get the email it’s because you don’t live within 2 hrs of my house, but feel free to fly on in for a long weekend). now it’s time to make sure the place is relatively presentable, which so far, we’re maintaining quite well (no Candace, i’m not f’ing dusting!!)
then, i notice that my house is trashed. on the outside.
got a new roof on this place 2 weeks ago, which was nice, being as how my bedroom rained when it did outside ever since hurricane isabel (do the math, folks, that tells you what a sweetheart my landlord is). nice roofer people left tons of lil shingle scraps and roofing nails all over my porches. also, all the morning glory vines from last summer are quite dead and looking uber-sexxxy decorating my trellises/fenceline.
since i got home earlier than usual today, i busted out with the cleaning. tore all those vines out of the way, briefly debated mowing (no need for insanity, right?). then came the always fun annual petrified dog turd round-up. for my southern crew, up here, where there is a winter, when it gets very cold and very dry (yes, it is possible for humidity below 80%), so do the dog poops. so, when spring rolls around, the nuggets are like little poop-shaped rocks, and are utterly unlikely to ever dissolve in the usual environmental sort of way. i get to go around the yard with my trash bag, picking up little bits through the bag, managing to stop mere millimeters away from picking them up by hand when one happens to fall out. halfway through this job, several things occur to me. first off, well, let’s just face it, this sucks. next, what if i just left the rest in the yard to feed this year’s crop of dung beetles? wouldn’t want them to starve over the lean season, right? last and most importantly, hehe, who do i know who deserves a big bag of dogshit on their porch? ah, screw it, don’t have that jerk’s address anyway.
with daylight still burning, i decided it was time to give the dog a bath. brushing the dog beforehand made me realize more than anything else that spring is quite imminent…it’ll look like it snowed dog hair in my house some time in the next couple of days.
after her bath, time to clean up the tub. your magical tip for the day: drano didn’t do crap for the speed of the drain, but plunger-ing irritatedly works wonders. i even went insane and scrubbed the tub down, so if any drunken revellers want to pass out in my shower, that’ll be fine now.
man, even Susan would be proud.