Posted by: fireweaver | August 16, 2007

game over, and post-game wrap-up

so, as evidenced by the lack of postings after that epic “i’m giddy” bit about mr.nerdhottie a week & a half ago, things are not worth writing about. he didn’t contact me again until the following wednesday, and then, only to say that he was swamped at work and that we should get together early this week once he got back in town (long weekend with the fam). this week goes by like a repeat of the previous, until i get a moderately-unclear dismissal last night (seriously, what’s with wednesdays with this guy?): apparently, work is still insane, he’s been thinking a lot, and though “i like you a lot and our chemistry is great” he’s not ready to settle down in a relationship right now. well, dear, thanks very much for the utterly befuddling mixed message. my call of course went to voice mail (short, sane, upbeat message), and i fired off a brief final salvo this morning of “whether you were intending to close negotiations completely or just to be explicitly clear that you want to keep things on a casual-not-serious level – being equal parts cynic and optimist, i can’t settle on either interpretation – give me a call today to sort things out.” my brain knows it’s a brush-off, my gut isn’t convinced, but i’m not really expecting any further explanations to be forthcoming.

at least i can say that all of my recent dismissals were clear, as kind as i could make them, and had the nobler purpose of not stringing anyone along.  it’s all ironic (karma?) on so many levels…

i said previously that the problem with most everyone i’d dated in recent memory was that they were morons. and now i’ve found one that thinks too much. sigh.

i had the date with nerd no.3 last week, on Keyata’s advice that it would be ok to keep my nice dinner reservations as long as i was honest about the friend-only status i was meeting this person under. the restaurant was in fact wonderful, with an A+ wine list to match, but this guy? crashing bore. after being drilled on my cv in verbal form (i’ve honestly had job interviews less probing), i was regaled with his tales of how hard it is to meet anyone in this town. don’t know if he was pulling the sympathy-friend ploy, or trying to guilt me into a date when my life calmed down, but either way it wasn’t exactly magnetic. “when my life calms down” because i told him i was out of the date game due to being swamped at work (see above).

the short email i got was oh so reminiscent of my brush-off to mr.kisses-like-a-brother last year, he who replied with a trio of frantic phone calls and a novella-length email of explanation. it was not sexy, and i felt bad for him. i’ve been inspired to stop after my one (brief) phone call and my one (brief) missive.

in entirely unrelated circumstances, last week also had the last (?) returns of some former e-beaux. mr.MIA showed up once again via IM to ask if i’d changed my mind. “about what?” i had to ask, “being as how it was always you making plans and then failing to keep any of them.” “about all the oral pleasure i want to give you,” he says. WTF?! “i was too scared you wouldn’t want a sex-only relationship, so i acted like i wanted the whole thing.” i can’t even make this stuff up. obviously, this guy needs to work on the efficacy of his pick-up technique, since this ‘fake ’em out’ approach didn’t work out too hot anyway. and finally, after an absence of a couple of weeks, mr.grabby called to ask if i’d like to head over for “a low-key night in, maybe dinner, maybe a bottle of wine” at his house last friday night. he seemed to be offended when i told him i had plans for the night, i managed to not laugh in his face about being his last-minute booty call (wasn’t this the issue last time?), and i definitely got the feeling that his, “well, if you ever want to hang out again, call me,” means i won’t be hearing from him again.

so this current experience, painful and frustrating as fuck-all, still effectively reminds me to not settle for mr.MIA or mr.grabby or their like. and with all these former options blasted out to the wind, i’m in clean-slate mode.

fortunately, my people (fate, being kind by way of apology?) are all magically, without being asked, on board for keeping me amused. dinner out for Justin’s birthday last night, Di’s house for their anniversary tonight, movies in little italy with Brian & Cary friday, wine tastings & lunch out with the girls saturday, sailing sunday. throw enough of this goodness at me, and in no time, i’ll believe it again that my life is a really wonderful one.



  1. Ah the insanity of men–girl, I feel you. let me relay a high point of my vacation in the Bahamas. . .My taxi driver stops the cab in the middle of nowhere and I of course have no idea where I am and he offers me “pleasures” I “can’t imagine” and proceeds to tell me how horny I make him. Why, oh why, do these situation happen to me? I remember asking solely for a cab ride from the market. p.s. I got away unscathed, no worries, due to my clever wit.

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