Posted by: fireweaver | September 8, 2007

calm or sedated?

i was on a first-date last night, so in this here fine literary tradition, i feel compelled to report back to all of you parties concerned. but i’ll apologize up front that this may be a boring post, neither drama nor fireworks.

i’ve been emailing this guy for about 3 weeks now. the first week thereof consisted of mutual exchanges of lengthy letters that were a little quirky, a good bit intellectual, a little naughty, and overall rather good. after discovering he had a yahoo id as well, the length of the emails was replaced by chat conversations and occasional phone calls. by this point last week, i was railing at Ken about the insanities of the male species (“and they say women are the strange mysterious ones!!”) about the apparent total lack of forward momentum out of text and into the real world. after doing this online dating gig for a while now, i’ve just had way too many people that i have wonderful chemistry with in text, but not so much in the flesh… so now, i’m more of a mind that once you’ve determined enough commonality to know you’ll have something to talk about in the bar, let’s move on to getting that drink.

of course, the very next day after ranting about it, the lunchtime chat session revealed that he just didn’t want to be that pushy guy. which is fine, really, after fending off the attempts of mr.grabby and the whirlwind giddy of nerdhottie, a slow cruise could be a good thing. we were able to get together once my houseguests had moved on – i’d offered to buy him a drink in response to a personal tragedy, he’d replied that he’d let me buy him drinks when i let him buy dinner – so last night was it.

we had a nice long evening of tale-telling of college exploits, our druggie friends, a crazy ex here & there, the resumé exchange…but nothing too personal, nothing too risqué, not a whole lot of flirting at all. the brief silence during the first chowing when the food showed up was neither companionable nor awkward, it just was. i kept thinking of how smoothly he’d fit in with huge swaths of my social circle (trading tech-writing travails with Matt, tai-chi techniques with Justin, wacky asian parent woes with Vi), but i wasn’t particularly pondering how to best get him out of those clothes. a part of me that was simply curious, not disappointed or annoyed, wanted to ask if the lack of heat was due to politeness or disinterest on his part.  maybe he just takes some time to warm up to someone, i generally do myself.  of course, i’ll keep you updated.

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