Posted by: fireweaver | September 25, 2007

relaxing into it

it occurred to me while pondering this past weekend’s activities that the gig with mr.comfortable is an odd study in contrasts from my fiery infatuation with his predecessor. with nerdhottie, the whole game was utterly visceral, just a swift fierce draw towards him, brain totally disengaged and ignoring potential issues. the current game, however, is almost entirely intellectual, since the lack of hunka-hunka-burnin’-fever means i’ve been all analytical about the pro & con lists. oh, and he has a much longer column in the former: i’ve finally found someone even more of a movie junkie than i am, he’s an adventurous diner & stakes claims towards mad cooking skills, prefers smart independent women, witty, funny, laid-back (except in stressing out over dealing with his crazy parents, but i think that’s an asian thing that you can’t be de-programed out of), and a consummate gentleman.

that last one’s caused me some frustration in dealing with him, since he’s just so damned nice. while there’s definitely a bit of chemistry there, most of our encounters come off more like the nefarious friend-date sort. i don’t need a guy to turn into a slobbering manimal and paw the hell out of me as soon as the theater lights go down, but for the love of fsm, figure out a way to let me know that you’d like to and are merely managing to restrain yourself.

apparently, his mr.nice-guy time table said it was ok to ratchet things up a gear, cuz we’ve now taken care of that issue.

saturday am, Vi & Justin rolled on in for the weekend since i haven’t seen them in nearly a month. after coming back home from brunch, mr.comfortable joined us to head out for the rounds of wine tastings. he immediately fitted in with this pair just as easily as he had with Di & Steve the weekend before, again not requiring anything more than a quick introduction. back at the house, Justin busted out a pair of dvds he’d brought for me, a bbc series called ‘life in the undergrowth‘ that’s a 5-parter about insects. completely fascinating, wonderful nature doc for big big nature doc nerds, but about as much of a date movie as the violent crime drama we’d seen last week. “uh, we were thinking about watching this nature show about, uh, bugs?” i tentatively offered. he comes back with, “oh, that sounds really cool!” and this man had no problems sitting around being a geek with the rest of the geeks. his rec for best sushi in the county had Vivian all ecstatic – she is the sushi junkie/connoisseur princess – and it was indeed excellent. we then continued on to get some ice cream, and back to the homestead for disc 2 of bug porn. peeps went to bed after one episode, while we stayed up for the last one, trading off pillow-duties as far as who was lounging on who. much like last saturday, he lingered until the wee hours with me, though there was somewhat less chatting & fish watching this round. apparently, he figged the best way to let me know he was interested, a methodology i heartily agreed with, and let’s just say i was quite surprised to not have a well-bruised neck after that makeout session. that, my friends, was talent, color me impressed.

completing our asian-bender for the weekend, we went out for dim sum sunday am. the three of us were already sitting down to our first cup of tea when mr.comfy walked in, and he strolls over, drapes an arm around my shoulder, kisses my cheek hello and says “good morning baby” like we’ve done this a hundred times before. and yes, it was utterly comfortable.  he was just as game for the afternoon’s girly shopping trip (Vi wanted some stuff for her new house) as he was for nerd-flicks.

i’m now measuring this relationship in vague concepts of time (a few weeks) as opposed to numbers of dates…i mean, does spending the entire weekend with someone count as one or two?  i wonder which of us will get around to starting “the talk” to open formal negotiations.



  1. do you have to have “the talk” ?

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