Posted by: fireweaver | November 28, 2007

what’s in a name?

in the brief fling i’ve been having w/mr.movie theater manager man (and by “brief fling” i mean merely the duration-so-far of said amusement, not the depth), i’ve been pondering what to call him.  the word “boyfriend” seems like a term out of high school, like he’s a boy who i’m friendly with, as though that were some sort of tee-hee-hee unusual circumstance. “SO” isn’t really working for me either – say it with me, ‘essoh’ – since i can always hear hansel asking “who you gettin’ crazy with, ese?  don’t you know i’m loco!”  “partner” is way too cold.  i think “lover” is a deliciously cute endearment between each other via text message, but yeah right am i going to introduce him to mom/coworkers/anyone who doesn’t want to imagine me nekkid as such.  the trusty thesaurus offers up only meh-at-best alternatives: “fiance” won’t work if he’s not.  “old man?” only if we were riding our hogs cross country.  “daddy?!”  “junkie?!?”  wtf?  ok, some of ’em work out for pet names, but seriously, i think the world is in need of a new descriptive relationship title.

asking others for help has thusfar been pretty unhelpful. anyone else have any opinions on this?  somebody come up with something, or you might end up meeting my kitteninja.

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Responses

  1. At this point, does he really need a ‘title’? Why not just introduce him by name?

  2. Yeah I think I would just say Hello everyone this is my Friend _______. I feel you on the bf name I am really young and I hate to use that term.

    I am going to go and catch up on your blogs now, I have missed a couple of days…

    Shalom

  3. How ya been hon? Why not just refer to him as a good friend??? If anyone asks, explain from there.

  4. well, guys, don’t get me wrong here: it’s not like i’m drowning in the anguish of trying to define our relationship or anything. and no, i don’t have nosy acquaintances pestering me to declare him as MY ___ or whatnot. yes, he is a good friend, that’s all true. just pondering a convenient designation in the lexicon. after all, when i introduce someone to my mom, i say, “this is my mom, Susan.” not that the title indicates she’s NOT a good friend, or in some way better than being ‘just a friend’, merely a convenient placeholder word to describe the parameters of the relationship i share with her. yeah, that all sounds super technical, but i’m a closet etymologist.

  5. Right there with you. The word “boyfriend” sends me back to High school days and gives me images of immature girls dragging some poor dude around like an object (not that teenage boys are really more than an object with hormones) and tee-hee-ing about it…. I started out introducing Justin as “My Man” and seems to work okay for me. For those that know Justin… yes sometimes he can actually act older than 3…

  6. Exactly. Your relationship with your mother is defined and clearly recognizable across a wide spectrum of the culture. Your relationship with the gentleman in question is very open ended, and may not require that the person you are introducing him to be aware of all the niceties.

    So there are two questions – 1) how do you define the relationship (which I believe is what you’re asking) and 2) what do others have the right/expectation/obligation to understand.

    The first need not be collapsed to a single word (and you might be better not assigning it a title unless you are revisiting that title frequently).

    The closest term I’ve heard to what you’re describing is “um friend”. I came across it in college as what would introduce a sex partner to ones parents as. “This is my um… friend ____”. I don’t particularly like it, but I know it’s been used.

  7. i agree with your quandry but having nothing to offer in the way of suggestions.
    helpful, i know. 😉

  8. we, in the medical world refer to them as “s/o” which includes casual acquaintance, the one who brought ya, the one who poked ya, the one who pays the bills this month, the one you live with, the one who means alot to ya right now, and the one who has been with ya a long time. the married ones will quickly point out to you that they are MARRIED, so they dont have s/o’s. from there, your s/o can become your ss/o [special] and then your vss/o [very special], and finally, your uvss/o [unadulterated very special s/o]. then, not only have you given them a designated title, but you atune others to their level of significance. now cuties, do we all undrstand?

  9. Boo boo kitty fuck?
    No wait, that ‘s for a girl. But then again, aren’t most terms of endearment neutral?


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