Posted by: fireweaver | January 3, 2008

kids + lasers = fun times ahead in india

well, if you’re an “unemployed youth” anyway.  the latest in the ongoing saga of wild rhesus running amok in india involves a clearly well-thought out plan:  the government has decided to hand a bunch of uneducated country kiddos some grade 4 medical lasers to sterilize the monkeys.  as in, the kind that will burn your face off, crossed streams or not.  oh, yes, the “youths” of himachal pradesh – and, btw, do you think the plan set any age limits here?  are we talking laser-wielding grade schoolers or hormonal teenagers, and which would be worse? – are going to be trained by some “experts” in monkey capture and sterilization.  i can only assume the euphemistic “sterilization” refers to castration and not spaying, but i’ve done a few of each, and neither ever involved a laser.  i have a buddy in private practice, and he does perform laser castration…for TEENY TINY SUGAR GLIDER NUTS.

most hilarious news quote of the week is going to have to go to an environmentalist that likewise thinks this is a bad, bad idea:

“Can you imagine what having badly sterilized monkeys running around will do to the levels of aggression?”

because if you thought monkeys pushing one government official out a window was bad enough, let’s just imagine what happens when you have a bunch of rampant wild primates not receiving post-op pain meds, with their balls burnt off.  sheesh.


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