Posted by: fireweaver | September 17, 2008

blinging one’s buttcrack

i got an email from my girl Gayle several weeks ago inviting me to an event she’d heard about off WaPo.  it sounded all sorts of interesting, so we nabbed the 2-for-1 tix and off we went last night to get our shop on downtown.

shecky’s girls night out” rented out the DAR constitution hall and packed it with vendors selling shiny things, things that smelled nice, things for painting your face, and wearable things.  also, there were 4 strategically placed bars (the booze guys were sponsors, so each “bar” was really a promo spot for any one given brand of liquor) stashed one in each corner to fuel chicks’ impulse-purchase impulses.  i can safely say we drank enough wee cocktails – the drinks were in small cups, but unlimited were included in your ticket price – to fully cover the modest cost (2 for $25) of the tickets.  there was several hours’ worth of stuff to peruse, and plenty of tough decisions to be made.  some of the booths were duds, e.g., the guy selling cheaply made knockoff handbags for a couple hundred bucks each, or the table of chunky costume rosary-and-cross styled costume jewelry (“hmm, madonna circa 1985?”).  for the most part, though, it was a lot of fun, and the majority of the sellers (often the designers/crafters themselves, in the case of the jewelry) seemed to be having a good time, too.

one woman had an assortment of standard-issue naughty novelties: skimpy lingerie, kama sutra brand stuff, that sort of thing.  i was looking at an inexpensive compact of “body shimmer” that amazingly enough made one’s skin look shimmery as opposed to a teen who’d painted herself with craft glitter, when i heard the seller say, “well, people bling up everything these days, right, so i figured why not bling your buttcrack?”  she was showing off a rack of cd cases, each of which contained the merest of thongs, each with a different design in rhinestones at the Y juncture of the teeny black straps.  since i’ve managed to go this far without icing up my cellphone or my incisors, i figured i could continue to live without undies that proclaimed “bitch” in sparkling plastic across my butt, but i did scoop up the shimmery powder.

the super find for me (Gayle’s was a fantastic grey patent handbag) was “the designer comb“.  the design is relatively simple: 2 wide-toothed wire combs joined by X-linked beaded elastic.  they were cute but pricey, and with my very long but very fine hair gimmicky hair things rarely work for me.  the seller asked if i’d like to try one out, and had my hair pinned up into the contraption in a half-twist in about 2 seconds.  it was quite comfortable, even when she started weaving hair through the elastic bands, but everything’s nice when the expert does it, right?  i pulled the thing out of my hair, asked her to show me how to work it, and tried to see if i could do it on my own.  yep, it was still just that easy.  my hair has been up in a sleek and secure french twist all day long today, without sagging and without generating a tension headache.  wow.  well worth the $35.

otherwise, my firm mental proclamations of i am on a budget were very successful.  right up until the last row, when i came across a guy selling beautiful scarves and coats.  i have an abundance of scarves and the richly dyed tall coats were tailored far to slenderly for me, but there was an amazing silvery grey pancho/cape/shawl that i just couldn’t stop touching.  “is it wool, or a synthetic blend?” i asked, since it was so silky soft.  “oh, neither,” he told me, “that’s baby alpaca, in the natural undyed color.”  he could see me wavering dangerously close to the edge, offered to knock 30 bucks off (WAY less than the price listed on his website), and had a sale.

if you decide to go to one of these things – there’s plenty upcoming in several major metropolitan areas soon – go for the “deluxe” tickets rather than the regular ones.  the standard entry runs ten bucks, but the 2-for-1 deluxe deal at $25 only rachets up the cost by $2.50 each and it comes with “the goodie bag”.  the bag itself is just a lightweight vinyl tote, possibly later useful for containing bathroom supplies on future vacations, but it came packed literally to overflowing with stuff:  treasures included 2 bottles of “facial hydrating” water, a half-dozen samples of high-end hair care things, a teeth whitening tray set, a large tube of aromatherapy moisturizer, 3 huge lindt chocolate bars of various flavors, and a bottle of durex “tingling” lube.  crazy!



  1. Ooo that sounds fun ! Too bad not one of them is in Florida. 😦

  2. I saw that in WaPo, myself. Now I know where to get that oft-required butt bling… or not. But baby alpaca, that sounds sooo nice. Add in the mini cocktails and tingling lube… well, I’m gonna have to hit “girl’s night out” next time.

  3. That sounds totally wonderful, I’m sorry I missed it.

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